Saturday, March 26, 2011

How did I get here??

A typical Wednesday in our house...I worked, boys were in preschool...Kevin was home sleeping off the prior evening. He had gone to a Steven Miller film screening with a friend and he was home sleeping off what he thought was a hangover/someone possibly slipped something into his drink at a bar.

I get home around 4:15pm to find Kevin extremely sick. I automatically thought he had the flu. Within 15 minutes he looked horrible, sweating ridiculously, and had chest pain. I called 911. Within 2 minutes the firemen and paramedics of Engine 72 were at our house and they took him to the ER. I find a babysitter so I can go to the ER (thank you Gina) and on the drive there I had an odd feeling in my stomach. Sort of feeling I never had before so I called my brother & his wife telling them where I'm going....also called Kevin's sister.

As soon as I arrive the ER doctor tells me they don't know what's wrong with my husband but it looks as if  his organs are completely shutting down... they were sending him for an MRI. In the MRI waiting room I text a good friend (Chad) to come sit with me and keep me company. He and his wife Susie arrive within minutes. I would have to say that the next hour happened in slow motion...almost as if this wasn't my life.

The ER doctor was going to aggressively treat Kevin for a blood clot... they had no idea what was happening to my husband....the amount of doctors & nurses inside this tiny ER room was overwhelming on top of the fact that Kevin was having trouble breathing. They ask us to decide as a wife/husband team to give them the OK to sedate Kevin, and intubate him....meaning put him on a ventilator so that they could control his breathing & further figure out what was going on with his body. I had no idea that would be the last time I'd hear Kevin's voice, hear him tell me he loved me, &  kiss him on the lips for two weeks.

Chad, Susie, & I wait in the waiting room while they're intubating Kevin. It must've been almost an hour, possibly longer. I am certain I nervous vomited at least twice. I tend to do this in nerve wrecked situations. I remember David Letterman being on tv and us discussing the size of the waiting room chairs. They finally call us in and it was eeeeery to see Kevin on a ventilator...just laying there... nurse comes in, says they're taking him to the ICU and that he'll walk us up to the ICU waiting room.

We were in the ICU waiting room...there was a man in the corner snoring. There were strange magazines to read. No food to eat. Hadn't slept. Was getting punchy when all of a sudden a doctor walks in...asks if I'm Kevin's wife. I reply yes and without any warning tells me that my husband coded on the way up to the ICU and it took them 35 minutes to revive & stabilize him. I'm pretty certain with that sentence that doctor took all the air out of the room. As I type this I am getting the chills & teary eyed. I'm actually going to stop this entry & post's a bit much to remember that horrible night for me right now.

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