"our horses vomit blood"

I have fantastic friends. If you saw us from the outside looking in, you would absolutely want to know us. I  always knew my friends were fantastic but when heart failure hit back in October.... well, each & every one of my friends, I'm talking my "core" group of friends.... they ALL stepped up to the plate for me and my family. Aww hell, who am I kidding... my friends out here in Cali are my family.

I've blogged about how grateful I was for everything they've done for me. I've talked a bit here & there about what they did for me but I've never really given details. For some reason it always manages to get me choked up. Makes me realize how lucky I really am that our paths crossed....how we were all magically pregnant either at the same time or within a few months of each other.

My friends sat with me. They held my hand. They let me put my head on their lap like a child because there was nowhere else to lay down. They cried with me. Brought me endless amounts of food/meals to the hospital AND at home. They've donated blood in honor of my husband. All the grocery shopping. They've watched our boys when I needed to be bedside at the hospital hoping Kevin would open his eyes & wake up. Preschool pick up & drop off. Distractions, my friends are great at helping keep me distracted when I would be in that waiting room climbing the walls. "Operation Gratitude." They volunteered with me, on my birthday, at "Operation Gratitude" and made tshirts as a surprise for me. Somehow they managed to get 600 "Operation Gratitude" volunteers to sing Happy Birthday to me.

My friends are all moms like me. All moms of twins or have been made an honorary mom of twins,  HM! They all gave up time with their families to be with me. To make sure me and my boys were ok. To drive me to the hospital. To come with me to the hospital & watch me put on a happy face full knowing I was falling apart on the inside.

My favorite thing about my friends are their smiles. The never-ending smiles. In a sea of unknown and sad faces everywhere I turned, I was always guaranteed a smile whenever one of them was around. A smile was all I needed to get through the day....they get me. They understand me. I am forever grateful for each & every one of your smiles.

The friends I speak of rescued me when I was drowning. If they weren't available to rescue me, they'd send their husbands...who coincidentally have also stepped up to the plate. You all know who you are. You were there that very first night and continue to be here for me now.

Did I mention that all of my friends are a part of our emergency transplant plan? I have a very long list of moms I can rely on for when we "get the call"that a heart is a match for Kevin...they have all said they'd be here for us. All of these friends, upon hearing Kevin was listed this week.... every one of them reminded me that their "ready to go" or that "my cell phone will be on when I go to bed."

To that one special friend who went back to our local hospital to make sure Kevin's helicopter took off and that there were no complications. You manage to always reassure me and guide me in the right direction.



To the friends when I tell them I'm on my way home from the hospital or VAD clinic... you tell me to relax. Take my time. The boys are fine. Get here when you get here. I am in debt to you forever for not only being my friend but for making me not worry how my boys are doing when they're with you.

To the friend who reminds me that living with an LVAD is indeed "temporary." I absolutely cherish our friendship and I am grateful for everything you do for me, Kevin, and the boys.

To the two friends that stayed overnight when I was alone. Rethinking that night, our conversation, my crying, the not knowing.......your love & support that night overwhelms me when I think about it. Still waiting for that porn :-)

The giving tree....to anyone that "gave" to our tree and continue to give to our tree...WE are forever grateful for your kindness. Each of you helped make a tough time easy.

And finally, to the one friend that spooned me when I was a complete mess....you are a part of this entire blog entry. Thinking about what to say brings tears to my eyes. You had something to do with every single thing I mentioned above. Your face always showed up at the  right time. I could not be more thankful to have you in my corner, to have you as a friend.

To all my friends, I love you.  From the bottom of my beating heart, I thank you. This blog entry is for you. For those that truly "get me" when I look at you and say "werd." And for the few friends that understand when I say.. "our horses vomit blood."